Dating for Dummies
by Thanatos God of the Dead
Summary: Italy notices all of Germany's dating-self-help books.  He wonders if maybe he needs to read some, too. A strain falls on their relationship as both become more and more confused with what the other is thinking.  Slash off of one of the web comics.
1. Chapter 1

So Two Updates in One Night!

**I'm on a roll baby! So Here's the new fic I decided to work on. Based my idea off the scanlation for the web comic: **

**Disclaime: I don't own the original characte sketch or anything else Hetalia related. Just the fic.**

* * *

"Germany! Germany!" Italy called as he roamed around the house. He caught sight of his prey in the living room, in his normal chair reading. Italy smiled and dove behind the couch near the door and crept closer towards the man he sought. He made his way silently behind Germany's chair and jumped out exclaiming, "Germany!"

Germany looked up from his book, unsurprised by his lover's attempts to scare him. "Hello, Italy." He looked back down at his book and continued to read as though there had been no interruption. Italy pouted and sat before him and blinked at the text on the page.

"Whatcha reading?" Italy asked, trying to decipher the upside down words.

Germany quickly shut the book and pulled it out of Italy's reach. "Nothing. What do you want, Italy?" He asked, hiding the book behind him.

Italy smiled and pulled at Germany's arm. "Football! Let's go play football!" Germany complied, allowing himself to be pulled from the room.

Italy glanced back at the book Germany had tried to hide. He caught the title that read: Dating for Dummies.

* * *

Italy collapsed beside his lover, panting. Germany sighed, feeling the other man's heat heating him up even more. "Italy." He sighed quietly. "The point is to cool down after the game, not add more heat."

Italy pouted and snuggled closer, ignoring the comment. Germany just shook his head and hugged his lover tightly. The book had said persistent contact meant they wanted to be held. None of them had been wrong before, so why start questioning the books now.

"Mm, Germany, can we go out for dinner tonight?" Italy asked, looking up at him smiling. "There's a new restaurant around the corner that Austria says is really good. Please?"

The book said comments like these meant that the lover wanted to talk about something big. A public place eliminated any attempts for the other party to react extremely. What could Italy be planning? Germany swallowed his thoughts away and nodded. "Sure, Italy."

Italy jumped up, all his energy returning in a flash. He smiled and cheered. Germany couldn't help but smiled, even though it reflected his amusement, at his lover.

* * *

Italy ran the towel through his hair and smiled, happy to be clean. He made his way over to where his clothes for tonight laid out on the bed, ready to be adorning his body. Italy dressed and finished drying his hair. He turned to the hamper and paused, catching sight of a glossy book corner under Germany's pillow. He pulled it out and read the title: So You're Dating an Italian?

Italy blinked at it. _Germany's been reading these books a lot lately. Maybe I need to start reading them too?_ Italy put the book away and dropped the towel in the hamper and decided to run to the book store quickly. He wanted to read up on all he could before he confessed to Germany tonight.

* * *

However after reading his book, So, You Chose a German, he realized maybe telling Germany he loved him was a bad idea. He had wanted to tell Germany this, letting his deepest feelings be expressed. The book however, advised against any confessions, unless the lover made the first. Italy bit his lip. _I have to wait for Germany?_ He thought, feeling a little crushed. He'd bought Germany a present and everything to commemorate their anniversary and everything. He sighed. If the book said it, it had to be true, right?

* * *

Germany read the sixth book diligently. He wasn't going to mess tonight up. Italy wanted to talk to him, and, even though he had no real idea what it was about, he still wanted to be prepared for anything. Even if it meant he was being dumped. He wanted to tell Italy that he loved him. Loved him more than anything. But the book had advised heavily against it. _Always remember, never be the first to confess. Always wait for your lover to say the first 'I love you.'_ It didn't really make since to Germany, but knew that the book had yet to be wrong. So why fix it?

* * *

**Dating for Dummies- End Chapter 1**

**TBC**

**So there you go. Btw, I do not know if any of these books exist. If they do then wow. Just Wow. Some of the advice I don't know if it was ever give, but I do know that some dating books actually say, "Don't say I love you until your lover says it."**

**It was on a website! I don't need self-help books! I'm perfectly sane!... maybe**

**So a new school year has started and I love all my classes, but I miss my boyfriend! He's too far away! Ok he's only a few minutes away, but still!**

**Oh and I've been thinking about dying my hair again. It's black with puple bangs. I don't know if I want to dye it all black or all purple or red... I know I'm bleaching it for Neko Con because I'm going as England... I convinced my dad to go as Greece. Add the little tree and he looks EXACTLY like him. It's so weird! And my boyfriends going as Russia.**

**I'm not weird for going to a convention with my dad! He's cool, man! So if you see a threesome of Greece, England, and Russia... come talk to us we're authentic (Greece speaks Greek, I sound british, and my boyfriend speaks Russian).**


	2. Chapter 2

**So here's chapter two...**

**History isn't the same after watching Hetalia...**

* * *

Italy fidgeted. The silence was so thick it weighed down on him. He glanced up at Germany and caught him fidgeting with his napkin a bit before returning to the food before him. The silence grew more and more uncomfortable. Italy wanted to tell him what he had planned to, but the book had forbid it.

Germany's eyes fell on Italy for second before glancing down at his fork. He sighed. He had decided that tonight was to be the night he would make the big step. However, the book had forbid it unless Italy made the first move. Unfortunately, Italy had made no move at all. _Why ask me out if we were to sit in silence? Even he wouldn't do something like that, right?_

"U-Um, Germany?" Italy asked, eyes shifting to Germany's and away. He opened his mouth to speak but stopped. The book. The book. Italy sighed and smiled, "How's your dinner?"

Germany felt himself mentally fall over. The anticipation had been building up for such a casual question. It was frustrating. The book had never been wrong before, he reminded himself over and over again; even though he was beginning to doubt it now. "It's delicious. Austria made a good selection."

Italy nodded sighing. _He probably thinks I'm stupid,_ Italy thought, mentally kicking himself. _I hate books._

* * *

The rest of the night went uneventfully, both men sitting in silence, speaking every now and again about trivial things. As they walked into Germany's house together, both were feeling foolish and confused. Germany wondered why Italy had invited him out to a nice restaurant and said nothing during the whole evening while Italy wondered why Germany seemed so aloof and cold towards him during dinner. Normally he was warm and affectionate on a Germany sort of level when they went on dates, but Germany almost seemed like he didn't want to be there tonight.

Italy went to bed, his mind flipping inside and out. Germany walked into the kitchen to find Austria sitting, dressed in his night gown and house coat, a cup of tea in his hands. "Well, where is it?" He asked after immediately registering Germany's presence. His eyes fell on Germany's neck, eyes flickering before looking back up at Germany. "Why are you not wearing it?" He demanded.

Germany raised an eyebrow at the other man, unable to hide his confusion. "Wearing what?" He asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

Austria looked surprised for a second, but recomposed himself and shook his head. "Nothing nothing. I thought… I mean even if you did propose to him then you'd still… never mind."

"I didn't propose." Germany stated, begrudgingly. "He didn't make any sort of move so I decided it was best not to push him." Germany sighed, regretting his decision to wait for Italy's move. He had decided to propose to the other man a while ago, but had been waiting for the right moment. Tonight would've been perfect, but he had backed away from it.

"Well, why ever not?" Austria demanded as thought he hadn't heard the rest of Germany's statement.

"I told you he didn't make a m-."

Austria scoffed, cutting Germany's explanation short. "Maybe it's time you made a move. Maybe he's waiting for it."

Germany raised an eyebrow, noticing the irony of the situation. "Are you… giving _me_ dating advice?"

Austria rolled his eyes and stood, placing his cup in the sink and heading towards the door. "You're not a child anymore, Germany. I'm married now and that accounts for some experience." His eyes flashed at the other man before he parted with, "Besides, you couldn't do much worse… unless you decided to ask Prussia."

* * *

**End- Chapter 2**

**TBC**

**So gone with the purple and black, I am now a blonde and I'm not having anymore fun than I had already had been having. That's right I got my hair bleached today. My boyfriend hasn't seen it yet. He's coming over tomorrow to ride with me to school (I use the metro). I can't wait to see his reaction! Plus everyone at school. I walked out of the salon and mum didn't even recognize me. I've had black hair for so long... (naturally this really brown color... i think)**

**This was for Neko Con, since I'm going as England. Ordered the costume just five minutes ago! OOH! I CAN'T WAIT! After Neko Con though, I don't know what to do with my hair... maybe blue... or red... OOH! I KNOW! I'll bleach it to the point of being white!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's Chapter 3**

**... Um... you guys do know I will take requests, right?**

* * *

Germany sighed, glaring at the wall his desk rested against. The same wall that connected his and Austria's rooms. He was mentally glaring at the man in the other room, annoyed at being told off by him. He never thought he would see the day when Austria, the man with more self-help books than him, was giving him advice. Course Austria had been right. Advice by Prussia would be a lot worse.

He heard a soft mew and turned, staring at the curled up lump of his sleeping lover. A faint smile graced his lips and he stood walking over and laid down, nestling in the covers, pulling the soft body into his arms. Italy mewled softly and turned in the other man's hold. Germany felt the slighter man's arms wrap around him, Italy's fingers knotting the black tank top adorning Germany's body.

He hated to admit it, but maybe Austria had a point. Maybe it was time to make the move.

* * *

Italy awoke the next morning, feeling arms wrapped around his body. He looked up and saw Germany's peaceful face, still sleeping. He smiled and kissed the lips before him gently before getting up and getting dressed. He left Germany to sleep and went into the kitchen to see Austria and Switzerland fully dressed and talking quietly.

"Well well. Look who's up early." Switzerland commented, sounding mildly impressed, lips to his tea cup. Austria nodded and drank his tea.

Italy shrugged and sat down, sighing softly. Austria glanced at Switzerland, both country's feeling the sadness emitting from the third country's slumped body. "I made blueberry pancakes, Italy. Shall I fix you a plate?" To both Austria and Switzerland's shock, he shook his head. "Italy? Is there something wrong?"

Italy shook his head again and stood up, only to sit back down again. "Austria how did you get Switzerland to propose to you?" He asked, words tumbling out of his mouth in an immediate rush.

Austria glanced at Switzerland who was looking away. He swallowed and a faint smile touched his lips. "Well, um… I don't really know."

"Firstly, he had to get rid of those ridiculous books." Switzerland growled, side glancing at Austria. The man simply replied with a shake of his head, eyes closed.

"What books?" Italy asked, interest peaked. Could that be the problem? Well, things did get wonky when he began reading them.

"Those idiotic 'self-help' books." Switzerland retorted, forming air quotes around the words 'self-help.' "It was like an addiction with him. I finally was able to break him of it when I said-."

" 'I'd rather have you as yourself, than what you've made yourself out of those books.'" Austria finished, blushing slightly, keeping his eyes diverted from both of the men. Switzerland glanced at him and swallowed, a similar shade of pink tinting his face.

Italy blinked at them both and a wide smile appeared on his face. He didn't need those books. Germany loved him long before he had taken up to reading them. Certainly it wouldn't change if he didn't read them. "Thanks guys." He exclaimed jumping up and racing out of the kitchen.

"Makes you feel like a dad again, doesn't it." Switzerland teased.

Austria smirked faintly, amused. "Guess that makes you the mom?"

* * *

Italy ran upstairs and burst into his and Germany's bedroom. "Germany!" He called, leaping into the bed. However, Germany was not there. Italy blinked and looked through the covers, pausing every now and again. "Germany?"

He jumped up and looked into the bathroom. Nothing. He ran over to the walk in closet. Nothing. He ran down the hallway and into Germany's study. Nothing. "Germany?" Italy called. He searched the whole house for him. Finally he found something, although it wasn't the man he sought. He eyed Prussia snooping around the parlor.

"Prussia?" Italy called. The man in question froze and looked up at him. His shock died down and he sighed, shaking his head.

"What do you want?" He snapped.

"Why are you sneaking around?"

Prussia looked aghast at such a question. "Excuse me? The awesome me? Sneaking? This _is_ my house, and I was _not_ sneaking around. I was walking about; totally different vibe." He said, sounding offended. Italy rolled his eyes. Austria must have thrown him out again. Or maybe it was Switzerland this time?

"Have you seen Germany?" Italy asked, remembering the reason for having noticed the other man's suspicious behavior.

Prussia blinked and looked Italy up and down. "Uh, I think I saw him go out with Japan. Why?"

Italy paused. "Go out?" He repeated, his voice unable to hide his uncertainty with the phrase. "With Japan?"

Prussia nodded. "Not twenty minutes ago, why?"

Italy didn't answer he just turned and walked away, leaving Prussia annoyed and fuming at having his question ignored. Italy turned the corner and left Prussia, his thoughts twisting around. _He never mentioned meeting with Japan today…._

* * *

"Such a strange thing." Japan commented, walking along side Germany as they made their way through town. "It's rare you ring me up for morning meetings, unless we have training…."

Germany looked away and nodded. He wanted a second opinion on what he should do. He did not want to ask Prussia nor Switzerland. Mainly because he had to agree that asking Prussia for dating advice was way worse than asking Austria. And he didn't want to ask Switzerland because he still wasn't sure how that worked out. Japan was the only answer that could be rationalized slightly. He was older and had more experience just in general, plus Germany was not about to keep trusting those books. "Actually, I need your advice."

"My advice?" Japan repeated, sounding intrigued. "What do you need it for?"

"Well… I want to- to propose to… Italy." The words didn't seem to come out of Germany's mouth. Was it really that hard to talk about his problems?

"Oh!" Japan exclaimed, unable to contain his delight. "Italy will be most please!"

"He will?" Germany looked at him, shocked. How did he not know this about his lover?

"Oh, yes." Japan confirmed, nodding. "He's been waiting for it for so long. He was beginning to think you were going to break off your relationship."

"What!" Germany exclaimed, voice echoing through the streets. People turned to stare at the two men. Japan hid his soft laughter behind his hand as Germany flushed. "He really thought that?" Asked, wanting to clarify before he started acting ut of character again.

Japan nodded. "He was waiting for it any day now."

* * *

**End- Chapter 3**

**TBC**

**So yea, I take requests.**

**And I'll write whatever you ask too. (Little, stereotype humour... Brits are punks... punk rock? Nevermind) Anyways, but yea I'll write whatever someone requests as long as it's not like insanely outrageous (Like BelarusXCanada or PrussiaXCanada or something outta wack like that). Other than that I'll write anything for you guys.**

**The joke about Austria being a dad has to do with him taking Chibitalia and then Austria getting smart with Switzerland... so... yea... little reference to The Minor Fall, The Major Lift, which, I'm sure you've noticed, happens a lot in my stories... why? Because it's the most popular one I've done.**

**I is sad though... My boyfriend didn't recognize me... plus Sierra *pouts* you know who you are! Hasn't been talking to me Xb**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry It took so long to update. I was waiting for the Dcument Manager to delete my stories. I never had the heart to delete my stories myself, they're my babies.**

**So here it is!**

* * *

"Where's Italy?" Germany demanded as he burst through the living room door. Austria fell from Switzerland's lap with a loud crash. As Switzerland made to catch him he tumbled off the couch right beside his husband. Austria groaned and rubbed his head, having hit it on the coffee table. He shot an annoyed glare towards Germany. Switzerland sat up and glared at the other country that had imposed on his alone time with his Austria.

"Thanks, Germany. I wanted to die from a heart attack today." Austria retorted sarcastically, standing and dusting himself off. Switzerland stood and inspected the lump forming on the back of Austria's head. "I don't know, I'm not your boyfriend's keeper."

Switzerland looked at Germany, still glaring at him. "He left a little while ago." He reported, not lightening up the growl in his voice. "We were in the middle of something." He snapped. "Did you ever learn to _knock!_"

Germany felt an uncomfortable surge as Austria's cheeks reddened. Germany rolled his eyes and stood his ground. "It's _my _house anyways! Where'd he go?" Germany asked, feeling a sudden desperation. He didn't have time for this awkward conversation.

Switzerland sighed and shook his head. He looked up thinking, and his eyes fell on Germany once more, still formed in an annoyed glare. "He looked like he was headed for town."

"Thank you." Germany disappeared and seconds later they heard the front door open and slam shut as he ran out.

Austria shook his head and sat back on the couch. Switzerland growled and walked over to the door. The sound of the lock clicking made Austria look up as his husband pushed him into the couch, kissing him fiercely. "Now, where were we?"

* * *

Germany looked through all the possible options. The Italian restaurant on main street. The café on Prendel street. He couldn't find his boyfriend. He felt a crashing blow of defeat. Where was Italy? There was only one other spot he could think of where Italy would be. The bar.

He walked in and felt a wave of relief, seeing his boyfriend at the bar, his head down and three empty glasses scattered around his head. Germany made his way and sat down, nudging him gently. Italy mewed and looked up, eyes groggy and hooded. He perked up when they focused on who had nudged him and smiled. "Germany! I missed you."

Germany nodded and eyed the glasses and looked back at Italy. "I was worried when I didn't find you at home." Germany stated honestly, masking the worry in his voice.

Italy smiled and launched off his stool and hugged Germany. "My Germany! I'll fight anyone for you. Even Japan!" Italy stated, his voice determined. "I won't give up!"

Germany blinked and felt his cheeks heat up. The bartender gave no reaction, _probably used to this._ Germany thought, still slightly embarrassed. "Japan?" He asked, trying to keep his voice certain.

"Yes. Prussia told me you went out with Japan." Italy stated looking up at him, pouting. "I'll fight for you. No matter what!"

Germany shook his head and ruffled Italy's hair. "Your spirit is refreshing, but there's no need to fight. I just needed to ask him for advice."

Italy sat up and blinked up at him. "Really? But I thought-." Italy hesitated and shook his head. He looked away and fiddled with the hem of his sleeve. Germany felt his uneasiness with what was on his mind, like he was unsure about whether to say it or not.

"What?"

Italy blinked up at him and looked away. "I-I thought you were gonna dump me. You weren't as loving anymore and I thought I did something wrong. I read one of those stupid books and I thought I did everything right, but I thought maybe it was the wrong thing to do."

Germany looked around at the deserted Bar. The bartender had vanished. They were alone now. He leaned in and kissed the other country lovingly. Italy returned it immediately and smiled. "Italy, you can be the most annoying man I've ever met, the sweetest man I've ever met. Sometimes the funniest, but overall you are the most _passionate _man I have ever met, and… I love you." Germany whispered, stroking his lover's cheek.

Italy's eyes stayed locked on Germany's blue ones, although they shined at hearing such sweet, honest words. He smiled and felt slide something on his finger, Germany holding his left hand. He looked down and watched Germany pull his hand away. A silver ring shined on Italy's ring finger, a diamond catching the light. Italy's eyes immediately lit up and he looked up at Germany, smiling gently at him. "Oh! Germany!" Italy threw his arms around Germany's neck hugging him tightly. "Oh! Oh! Germany! I love you too!"

Germany smiled and held the other nation close to him, arms wrapped tightly around his new fiancé.

* * *

**Dating For Dummies- End**

**So there's the end, mates. Now I can start working on those requests. I have posted a list of the requests that have been requested on my profile and it is updated everytime I get a request. So if you make a request, and I don't update, chances are I haven't checked my e-mail for reviews and PM's so I don't know they exist, but don't fret! I check my e-mail everyday at least once, so it will meet the list just not immediately. If after 3 days it hasn't been updates, chances are I got crushed by a school work avalanche.**

**My kitty Rasputin is being very loving. Ironic no? So my next story is going to be a SwitzerlandXAustria fic, because it was requested I write more of that pairing so I am. ^_^**

**Reviewing is love so keep on loving!**


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